Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Dear Nice/Obnoxious Neighbor

It is always nice to see you outside and have our same quick conversation where you are not so subtly trying to make me bilingual. 

This is not a big deal, I appreciate the effort but when you want to give me a half hour impromptu foreign language lesson...make it not the only time that day I need to be somewhere.

I really do like how much you love my dog. 

However, since you and your daughter have started over reacting, throwing your hands in the air (like you don't care) excitedly yelling his name every time you see him (including when you are inside or on your porch and he can't even get to you) he has started approaching every.single.person this way. He also has now thinks his name is Chiquito. Granted, he only weighs about 5 lbs, so him pulling on a leash isn't hard to manage but by golly its freaking annoying, especially when we have people over.

I can see from everyone he talks to you as they pass by that you are genuinely sweet to the whole neighborhood.

It'd "totes" be cool if you were outside to enjoy the perfect weather here in Arizona, just like the other 90% of our apartment complex with their screen doors open...instead of going outside to have your 15th cigarette for the morning. It just so happens that when you smoke on your porch, right under my porch, something about the air currents/wind/whatever pulls it all right up into my house. I now smell like a smoker without ever making that choice.

In conclusion, I will still make you baked goods if you stop riling up my dog, filling my house with smoke and making me late for the few places I have to go.

1 comment:

  1. aaah our neighbor does this too! (minus the smoking). he once took ringo off his leash and i couldn't catch him for like, 30 minutes because he's freaking fast. the guy just stood there laughing at me trying desperately to catch my dog before he ran into the street. made/makes me livid when he does this.