So there I was, sitting on my bed, babies happy doing our thing. June starts to drift off for her morning nap and Chloe does the same. I'm about to start singing the hosanna chorus when I hear something...
Someone is in my back yard. Nah, I'm just freaking myself out. So I open my curtain and can just see the shadow of my gate...being closed...by a large man.gasp emoticon
My heart drops and just as I scurry to close the curtain he comes around the corner and sees me. It startled me, so I jump...and scream a little *face palm*
I try to play it off and give a quick wave then close the curtain. Then he knocks on the window! (Nooo!) So I open my curtain and talk to him through the closed window. We live in a duplex, he's working on the gas for the other side but both meters are in my back yard. He says "can you move the bike?" I quickly say oh, yea, yea! Then close the curtain because I realize I'm in just a tshirt and underwear :|
I convince myself he didn't see anything then my heart catches, crap! I think he's talking about Russ' motorcycle. I can't move that thing! So I throw on pants and go out back...the motorcycle is gone...(wtf? Then I remember he rode it to work) But Russ had locked his road bike to the gas meyer. (Whhhyyyy, Russ? Whhhyyy???) So I text Russ to get the key to unlock the bike but it's not where he said it was.
In the meantime, the gas guy has disassembled the gas meter and gotten the bike off. I feel like a total jerk so I just apologize and go back inside. The babies are now screaming because its getting into their nap time. I have to pump smh.Then I remember (how the heck did I forget? ) my water heater had been out since sunday. So I slink back out there "uh, hey. I'm. Sorry. My water heater has been out since Sunday. Sorry, uh, could you look at it? Sorry." #sorry
He gives me a death glare, the babies are screaming. "Sorry! my babies" then I run inside and realize how much of an idiot I sound like. He then opens my water heater closet and Russ has all but packed around it with hiking packs and climbing shoes (Ruuuusssss!!!!!!!!!!!) The guy lectures me about the safety, or complete lack of safety, of that. (In my head I'm fuming because I told Russ the same thing but I'm a sissy so I'm just turning beat red) (the babies are still screaming).
I go back in to the babies and I get a knock on my front door. Gas man has let my dog out. He points down the block and heads to his truck. (Wtf dude? Help me! You see these babies screaming on my floor) so I get the girls in their pack and play. My landlord decides to finally call me back for the first time since sunday. So I'm trying to wrap up the conversation with him and start after my dog....who thinks it's funny to let me get close then run. Oh, did I mention I'm not wearing a bra? Because I'm not. I'm long overdue for a pump so I'm chasing this stupid mutt, boulders flying. Intermittently trying to keep the boobage from dropping straight to the ground on the down bounce, switching the phone to the other ear (omg, you're nice mr landlord but just let me call you backkkkkkkkkkk!!) and trying to grab this stupid dog.
I corner him in the neighbor's yard. They are on their porch. I just keep saying sorry. Sorry for my stupid dog. Sorry for being in your yard. Sorry my stupid dog is in your yard. (Sorry for the haphazardly swinging mom boobs). I grab him, hold him against my chest (one problem solved) and run back to my house yelling, what else? , sorry, over my shoulder.
It took about 10 minutes to catch him. Babies are no longer screaming but still fussing. I lock the dog in the bathroom so I don't have to see his mutt face for a second. Put the girls on the living room floor, say sorry to them. Get them calmed. They fall asleep. I pump. I look over and June is flipping me off.
Yep, that's about right.
But, I now have hot water for the first time in 3 days and I'm counting the dog's little excursion as his walk.
10:15 am. Today is going to be a good day.