Fertility Friday: Stop Naming Your Children...

Seriously though...

Maybe its just because we're Mormon and Mormons have babies. Lots of babies. Every one of them. Lots of Mormon babies. Which is awesome, don't get me wrong.

But, I sit here with a dozen names picked out for my hopefully future children and watch as they get plucked up one by one. 

Now we could play the hey, we are naming our kids XYZ so don't name your kid that (immediate family and cousins, close friends, you know) and play the whole guilt trip infertility card. 

"Yea, we've liked the name XYZ since we started trying to get pregnant...5 years ago, hopefully no one takes it. How far along are you again? Do you have a name picked out" 

Yea, not anymore you don't.

But, it just so happens that we have decided not to tell anyone our names we have picked out until we actually have the kid. Yea, we're going to be those obnoxious people. We just don't want other people's opinions on the matter. If we really like a name (that we already refer to our non-existent kids as  ((awww creepy cute))) we don't want to hear "ew, my cousin's, mom's, ex-boyfriend (who was really a jerk)'s, best friend's dog's pet kangaroo was named that and he bit me once. 

It is just one of those ridiculous things with infertility that we really can't do anything about. We can't tell our loved ones not to use 'our' names...that they don't even know...but by golly if the world could just hold their horses for one moment and stop snatching up the heaven babies and let one (or two, we don't care) come our way we wouldn't have to head butt you

...in our heads...

 when we hear you've named your kid the name we've been holding onto for years.

Easy as that.

For freeeee??

We've been slowly chipping away at furnishing our first 'post college' apartment.

We're still just about as frugal as it gets, wanting to spend our money elsewhere...

So, we scour Craigslist like its our job and the other day we found this:

Now, I know for a fact that this is a $40 Ikea cheap-o table, but peoples...it was free. 

So, yea, its mine now.

With a little bit of patience and $20 bucks we now have this happy green and gold little number:

Now on to filling those picture frames behind the couch...

Dear Nice/Obnoxious Neighbor

It is always nice to see you outside and have our same quick conversation where you are not so subtly trying to make me bilingual. 

This is not a big deal, I appreciate the effort but when you want to give me a half hour impromptu foreign language lesson...make it not the only time that day I need to be somewhere.

I really do like how much you love my dog. 

However, since you and your daughter have started over reacting, throwing your hands in the air (like you don't care) excitedly yelling his name every time you see him (including when you are inside or on your porch and he can't even get to you) he has started approaching every.single.person this way. He also has now thinks his name is Chiquito. Granted, he only weighs about 5 lbs, so him pulling on a leash isn't hard to manage but by golly its freaking annoying, especially when we have people over.

I can see from everyone he talks to you as they pass by that you are genuinely sweet to the whole neighborhood.

It'd "totes" be cool if you were outside to enjoy the perfect weather here in Arizona, just like the other 90% of our apartment complex with their screen doors open...instead of going outside to have your 15th cigarette for the morning. It just so happens that when you smoke on your porch, right under my porch, something about the air currents/wind/whatever pulls it all right up into my house. I now smell like a smoker without ever making that choice.

In conclusion, I will still make you baked goods if you stop riling up my dog, filling my house with smoke and making me late for the few places I have to go.

Thanksssssss.

Getting back on the sewing horse

My dearest friend Kait has provided me with some motivation to get sewing again. 

I'll be shipping these twirly-little-dresses-to-bes off to sell in her booth down in NC

I'm so excited for them to all be done!

15 to go....

Oh, and on the same note as making things again...We have more El Cap shirts on Etsy, check out my shop in the side bar!

Fertility Friday: Metformin

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that a doctor had put me on metformin. 

I also mentioned that they didn't really have a substantiated reason for doing so. 

I read about all of the horrible affects of Metformin, along with those who claimed no side affects whatsoever. Well, lucky me I'm touting with the bunch who claim 

'this frakin sucks'.

I started metformin around the same time I was finishing up my last extravadance at the costume shop.

(*read* 50 hour work weeks and late late nights mixed in with finals) and around the same time as our last round of Femara.

Let me just tell you how excited a pill-a-phobe like me was to be on both a cancer drug and a diabetes drug at the same time all in the name of having babies. 

I was  not. It scared the whits out of me honestly.

I'm still grappling, at times more than others, with not being able to just 'get pregnant' without some sort of medical intervention. I mean, I don't even like taking Ibuprofen, so this whole pill popping business is not something I'm too keen on...but if it's what will work, I'll do it every day for the rest of my life.

Anyway, back to Metformin. My doctor mentioned that for women with PCOS, Metformin has helped substantially in their ability to conceive. (*note* he didn't say that I had or didn't have PCOS, he just kinda threw that out there) He also said that in fertility testing, Metformin had positive affects that they weren't really sure how they came about, so I should just start taking it to see what happens. 

I started out with 1 pill in the mornings to get used to it, starting at 500mg for the first week or two. I did just that and every day felt a range between sort of sick for the majority of the time to please shoot me in the head and don't you dare block my path to the bathroom sick. It sucked. Psychologically it especially was hard because I was most sick in the mornings and at night, so every morning I woke up to imagining my 'morning sickness' of sorts wasn't due to me taking some random drug but that maybe...just maybe...

So, that was great.

After the first week, I tried taking a pill in the morning and at night and it nearly debilitated me. I don't know what it was about that up in the dosage but I was sick ALL THE TIME. Full on sweating, running to the bathroom, laying in bed, sick. I talked to my doctor about this and he said to just go back to taking the one pill in the morning, because one was better than none. Even though he gave me no specific reason why it was 'better' at all. Ugh.

After taking the one morning pill for 2 - 3 months and having nothing happen, especially after my polypectomy I was just done feeling sick. Especially since I was guiding canyons and ATV tours and other hour+ long activities with no access to a restroom, for the summer...so I just stopped. I still have refills on the prescription and I still look at it from time to time and research it now and then but I just don't see myself going that route again...

as always, we'll see. 

Happy Halloween! and Thanksgiving...and Christmas...

We totally plan for Halloween all year, and would never dream of going to the dollar store an hour before the costume party to buy random objects for a costume.

Happy Thanksgiving Christmas Halloween!

...

From all of us :)

With the perfect colored scraps from some chairs I'm recovering...I couldn't resist!

Little Gentleman....

When you find that bright eyed boy that will both help you make breakfast and do the dishes afterwards...all while wearing an apron and button up shirt...

you know you've found a winner:

Nephews are fun :)

Fertility Friday: Saline Ultrasound

Disclaimer: if you are sqeemish, or easily grossed out 

DO NOT READ THIS POST 

:)

its just too funny/humiliating/I've-so-been-there-you-can-make-it-through-too 

to not post. 

I mentioned in my last fertility friday post that I had a saline ultrasound/sonogram/SIS done several months back and it was an experience that I was in no way prepared for....

So if you are where I was 6 months ago and scouring the interwebs for an honest account of what that little procedure is like....here's my account.

Let's be honest here, this procedure was one of the most painful things I have ever felt in my life.

I bebopped my way into the doctor's office with Russ in tow, we filled out the ever present paperwork, they weighed me for the forty-millionth time and I changed into my favorite 2013 accessory, the paper robe. 

I had had several intra-uterine ultrasounds previously and didn't really think anything of this one. I hadn't been told to expect anything and wasn't instructed to prepare in any specific way except to come in while I'm still on my period (super gross, I know).

Anyway, I pop up onto the table and my trusty hubs is sitting by my side everything starts out similar to a pap, when the Dr. warns me they they are 'sanitizing my cervix', poetic, no? That wasn't necessarily painful so much as just uncomfortable and cold.

The proceed with more poking and prodding when they inform me they will be injecting the saline and I will feel 'a little pressure' (What is this, the dentist?)

Cue full blown intense menstrual cramps/contractions. All I could do was cover my face with my hands and breathe through the pain the nurse kept saying things like 'you're doing great' 'we're almost done' and other such things that reminded me of every bubbly blonde exercise instructor I've ever met...and didn't care for. 

About ten minutes into the procedure, positioned in the no-hiding-spot-for-shame way all too familiar to someone going through infertility testing (REALLY STOP READING HERE haha) in the midst of the fog of pain pressing on my brain I realize. I'm going to poop. Now. On this man. I am going to poop right now on this doctor. With all the pressure and pain and what not, my body just decided that this would probably be some sort of solution to the goings on.

Now, don't go assuming that I pooped on this doctor and assistant. I can proudly say that I did not. But, I do consider myself a considerate person and as I'm laying there fearing the most embarrassing thing in my entire life is about to coincide with one of the most painful things in my entire life, I realize...I've got to warn these poor souls.

...

me: "I...uhhh...I"

Dr: "Everything all right? You're doing great."

me: "yea, umm. I'm going to poop"

Dr. "What's that?

me: "I really, I don't know how else to say this but I don't want to poop on you"

Dr and Nurse: laughing "Oh, it wouldn't be the first time!"

me:....

Whhhaaaattt????? 

Now I'm all about connecting especially with experiences, but there is no way that I was going to join the ranks of those who have pooped on another human being while it was still within my power not to.

...

I have never in my life been so proud of my self control. I would have never been able to look at those doctors ever again.

Bonus though...after the ultrasound they realized they didn't tell me to take pain meds before hand, gave me a horse-sized pain pill and a capri sun. Also, in my experience once the procedure was over the pain was over, no cramping afterwards.

yep, so....now you know that. 

Good luck with your SIS.

Sas Love

No matter how many ways I take a picture of this pillow, it never looks nice.

I guess you'll just have to come over and see how nice it actually does look on my couch.

And I will tell you how the trim for this pillow was only .25 cents a yard.

And I will tell you of my new-found yet undying love for Sas fabrics.

---

And we will go there and revel in textile bliss.

Fertility Friday: Polypectomy TMI for the squeemish

Our most recent (even though this was 6 months ago) breakthrough with our little fertility journey here was back in April. 

We were packing up to leave Rexburg and were rounding out our last visits with a Dr. we had found that we liked that we were just getting to join in on our desire to investigate what may be wrong instead of just throwing pills at it....which he still did and stuck me on metformin for several months...but I'll write about that later.

He ended up performing a saline ultrasound which was an experience I would rather forget, and would rather have been warned as to the pain. Even a little, 'oh...we'll be putting your body into some minor to mid-range contractions today...maybe take an ibuprofen before you come' would have been a nice heads up.

The ultrasound revealed that there was some fluid escaping into my abdomen and, although not as accurate as an HSG (let's please just never....), indicated that my tubes were clear and shouldn't be any impediment to us getting pregnant. He also found what he said may potentially be an intra-uterine septum and we scheduled surgery for the following week.

Note to fellow infertiles....maybe don't schedule minor surgery the same day as your very last college final exam and the day before you move to another state...maybe...but you probably already knew that.

I had read some horror stories about polypectomies and septum removals so I was a bit nervous. Thankfully, everything went just fine. Aside from the awkwardness of having three people poke and prod around my nethers, it really wasn't a painful or 'violating' experience as I had read many women felt. They gave me some painkillers and a local anesthetic, they told me to just relax because I wouldn't remember anything later but I pretty much remember everything...mostly just staring at the ceiling and waiting.

When everything was said and done, they told me they removed two pea to kidney bean sized polyps. The only side affects I had after the surgery were, after they removed the IV I was pretty shaky and had some pretty violent shivers, but they said that was normal. I spotted a little bit that day but that was it. The doctor seemed very optimistic that this would be the answer to our fertility issues...but still not being pregnant 6 months later leaves us feeling pretty hesitant to believe that.

On the bright side, before the surgery I had pretty painful and heavy periods. My first period after the surgery was kind of scary and heavy but every one after that I hardly get cramps and they are much easier to deal with. So, even if it wasn't the answer we were hoping for, it was still absolutely worth the time.