I'll follow you into the muck...of Middle Echo

Don't even try and tell me you wouldn't follow that hunk of hubs into a mucky canyon. Farmers tan and all.

The hike up took us a little longer than we had anticipated, but we kind of mosied so it was our own fault, really. As soon as we entered the middle section of Echo canyon, we suited up and waded through the first pool. Russ was several yards ahead of me, when he stopped dead in his tracks and whispered for me to keep walking, but to be quiet. 

Knowing that a mountain lion was spotted at the base of Spry canyon (ok, so what if that was on the other side of the park) I thought "oh frick, I'm going to be mauled to death".

Instead,  pleasantly enough, we saw this guy:

After silently gawking at our little buddy for several minutes, we proceeded to a long corridor full of dried mud, pine needles and bark. I blazed ahead, only to be stopped by Russ grabbing my arm. 

"I think there's water under there"

...

Me: 'no way, its just from the last flash flood, its all dry"

Russ then proceeds to stomp on the nearest patch of muck and we see the whole corridor rise and fall a'la tremors. Fantastic, I think to myself.

"How deep is it?"

We found a large stick to fish around for the bottom with, but never found it. 

Double fantastic.

With the canyon walls being about 4 1/2 feet apart at this point we were able to stem a bit in attempt to avoid the nastiness. 

I, of course, fall and begin the most epic muck battle of my life trying to tread water while simultaneously clearing a solid foot of debris out of my way to swim through. Russell stood, successfully stemming, above me as I frantically doggy paddled my way through the muck and the mire, while he laughed his head off.

After stripping down in a clear pool to get the large bits of barks out of my wetsuit and swimsuit, we continued on our merry way. The longest rap was only 30 feet so we didn't have to fight a long rope through the canyon, which was awesome because almost every rap required us to be swimming while detaching.

It was an awesome day and a great experience to get my trust back in Russell's ability as a canyoneer since his recent near death encounter with the flash flood of the year in Pine creek.

I guess I can write that epic all out next time...

Catching up

I have all these things that I intend(ed) to write down on the blog but we've been settling in, napping together during lunch breaks, canyoneering, sewing and visiting Costco.

But, I'll fill you in on all that in some catch up posts to come.

Easter

These were supposed to look like bunnies...

we like cats better anyways :)

---

On a different note, we had a wonderful time with the little bit of family we have around eating dinner and laughing. It was a beautiful day. 

We celebrated by reading the first chapter of our brand new copy of Jesus the Christ and standing outside talking to our neighbors for way too long because noone wanted to leave this beautiful spring sunshine Rexburg has been throwing our way.

Days to be lost

Tomorrow is a big day for us.

But I keep thinking about today, and how a year from now...it won't exist.

Stuck in somewhere between a time stamped Sunday and heavy Tuesday, this day will very likely be one I'd let slip from memory. 

-

Even though we both woke up early and tried our best to convince the other to stay in bed. 

-

Even though I had a small opportunity to serve. 

-

Even though I laughed as Russ had a whole monologue about how he could tell the difference in a blind taste test between generic and name brand mac and cheese.

-


I wonder where I let all these days go...
The days in between.

And, I wonder if I need to slow down or if I just need to pay more attention to the dates and times that make up the space between the few moments I remember.

El Capitan

 

As part of my 26 goals for this year (...which some need to be amended, woops). I bit the bullet and made 20 of these bad boys (20! Yikes). 

Posted them online last night and found one sold this morning! 

WooT!

9 more me-made items to go and I've reached my goal for the year :). 

(You can check them out to the left!)

Interpretation

I'm a little obsessed with installations. 

Captivated by the organized chaos.

A collection of things that are all different even though they are all the same. 

Paper clips, tea saucers, glasses. 

All spaced out perfectly. 

I wonder what that says about me. 

Getting back into the swing of it...

I'm so excited to be back at school (for my last semester!) (For reals this time!) and getting back into the routine...

Which is kind of routine-less. 

I love working at the costume shop where days are mixed with calm and chaos, I love seeing a whole show come together and I love seeing all the bits and pieces manifest themselves in motion on stage. 

If I could have just worked at the shop for the whole time I was in school instead of getting my degree, I'd have done it in a heart beat. 

is that bad?

Oh well, here's to sewing! 

...and school

More to do's: Sofa

The Look:

$25 Craigslist find:

I wanted a more geometric shape, so I was excited to find this for such a good deal...

and it'll be ugly fun in the mean time. 

I'm a little worried about the challenge of finding a clean enough herringbone print to really bring in a geometric print. 

The honey-do List: for me!

Russ and I are so, so very excited to move into our new place in Rexburg and to finish up at school! 

I've been bargain shopping for furniture for our new place (first place we'll be in where we aren't borrowing furniture or it doesn't come pre-furnished.)

SO! I've taken it upon myself to thrift the snot out of the state of Idaho to get exactly what I want at a reasonable, or phenomenal price. I'll post a list of my finds and projects to come. 

The look I want:

What I found:

$25 and an hour an Craigslist found us these three diamonds in the rough:

The're a bit dirty, but are sturdy and the perfect shape, I'm super excited about this find!

This is 25: Letting go of expectations.

This morning I found myself standing alone, dressed in a hospital gown in a dimly lit room and couldn't help but think

...

This isn't mine.

....

I knew if I breathed in too deeply, I might cry. 

Not because I was nervous.

Not because Russell couldn't come in with me.

Not because I was afraid of what I might find out.

But, because it wasn't mine.

...

Not my life.

Not my plan.

Not my 26th year.

Not mine.

...

I slipped on my shoes and looked down at my feet, past the gown and down to the fiesta colored slippers Russ bought me for our anniversary....

Mine.

...

I've spent so much time running away from accepting the fact that I have over 4 years of heartache trying to get pregnant as part of my life. It is mine. Better or worse, it is part of who I am and who I will become. It is something that defines a part of me... and is a near constant struggle to not let consume me.

Most days I know that I am more than this, but some days I can't help but question if I am less. Some days, even just some hours, it feels too close...too thorough and too concrete to ever change, and I feel so completely overwhelmed that it is mine.

Even though its not the small house with a big yard with the children so seemingly perfect, that I could just kiss their tiny fingers and toes. 

...

Even though it isn't those things...it is a husband who splits an ice cream with me after I cry about it sometimes feeling like it'll never change and the way it is, is just too much. It is the way he kisses me softly and, if even for that brief turning moment between crumbling down and realizing I can stand back up, it is knowing completely and fully that everything is going to be okay.

It, this life, this experience, this heartache, this love... is mine. 

This is my 25, its not at all what I had expected, not exactly what I had thought I wanted.

It is hard.

It is beautiful.

It is mine.